Anthony's blog

Oh boy

nobody@vox.com(Anthony) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:37:25 -0500

I'm back. Posting shortly, thank you.

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Til we dance away . . .

nobody@vox.com(Anthony) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 00:35:38 -0400

"I can't believe that we would lie in our graves wondering if we had spent our living days well . . . "

It's impossible to know when we'll be gone, impossible to know what's going to happen to us next. Life is full of little surprises, isnt' it? We live our lives every day, trying to do things to make it okay. To get to the next day. It's really easy to get into a routine. It's really easy to stay stationary, in a way. Lately, I've felt stationary in certain parts of my life while other parts are moving ahead wonderfully. I just want the stationary parts to move forward too.

The wedding planning is just about done. It was pretty much done less than a month into the engagement. We picked the date, the hall, DJ, pictures, etc. All that's left is the flowers. And then it's the little things. Finalizing the guest list. Picking the menu. The easier stuff. I'm thrilled that everything went so easily. Just gotta wait the eight months until the wedding :-)

The rest feels like a routine. I pretty much work for my next day off. I look forward to Tuesdays and every other weekend, because that's when I'm off. I'm actually looking forward to going back to school. I feel like I need to jumpstart something. I've been getting realllllly sick of Target lately, it's been a frustrating place to be. I go through highs and lows all the time there, so I'll be fine soon enough. But still, I need to finish up so I can move on and get a real job.

I cannot believe that next year is going to be my 10 year reunion. Ten years since I graduated from high school. It's such a strange feeling. I'm going to be 27 in a few weeks. Someone I work with turns 17 next week. I hardly feel like I'm ten years older than her.

I'm sitting here listening to Ants Marching . . . the studio cut from Under The Table and Dreaming. I'm already up to 11 years of being a Dave Matthews Band fanatic. We're talking about 40% of my life. Is it any wonder that when I finally decided to get a tattoo, it would be a dmb one. They just released a new album, one that I've been waiting with anticipation for a long time for.

Good timing . . . a song from that album called You & Me just came on. This song makes me feel really excited about starting my life with Heather. It makes me excited about having a family, growing old with someone.

You and me together
We could do anything, baby
You and me together
Yes, yes . . .

It's amazing how much this band means to me. When LeRoi died, it felt like a family member died. I was at the three concerts immediately following the funeral . . . the first one was just two days after. The amazing thing is the fact that the band came out and played, even the night that Roi died. Dave said he just wanted to be with the people one stage and with us in the audience. Music was therapy for them, and it was for all of us at the Gorge that weekend. Every show I've been to since, every time Dave mentions LeRoi, we all feel what Dave feels. He'll always be Stage Left.

But then the wrong and rage is over
When light comes laughing loud
Oh and the hatred turns into loving
And out of nightime the soul is found
Oh when flowers bloom in the desert
Only hope can come from that
Oh and worn down in your worry
Only love can get it right"

That's from Grey Street, July 12, 2000. One of my absolute favorite versions that happened to pop up on shuffle.

It's always been the lyrics for me. I mean, the music is great. But I don't know that much about music, and I usually just get lost in it. On the message boards, when people are discussing Carter's drumming or Stefan or Boyd's fills, I don't really catch them. But lyrics . . . Dave's words. Those get me every time. I've said before that I think Dave Matthews Band has saved my life on a few occasions. I've been down before . . . like really low. It's been a while since I've felt that way, but it's happened multiple times. And it's always this music that keeps me going. It's the Carpe Diem attitude. It's the way the songs relate to me. It's the fact that I can put on certain songs like Song That Jane Likes or Granny, and I can't help but smile. It just happens, no matter what's going on. And sometimes, when you just have to listen to sad music, there's plenty of that there too. There are a lot of lyrics that help you realize that you need to live for today, the first thing I wrote in this entry, from Lie In Our Graves, is a great example. When all is siad and done, you don't want to regret anything. You don't want to wonder if you've lived well or not. You need to be happy in your life.

There used to be a very positive person inside of me. It's still in there, but it's hidden by a lot of self-hate. It's hidded deeeeeeep down, and it needs to come out soon. It's gonna be tough . .. but I really need fix what's wrong with me and fix my attitude.

But really, life isn't bad at all.

Hehe, certain songs can bring it all back to a good place for me.

Like this one:

07 Spaceman

Dave Matthews Band

Prolly get it wrong as much as I get it right,
But I got it right woman when I caught your eye
What I remember most about that night is
I love the way you move baby
I love the way you move baby

I like most liquor but I don't like gin
I don't always like the skin I'm in
When I get it wrong I'm gonna start again
But I love the way you love me baby
I love the way you move baby

Oh oh oh oh yeah
Oh oh oh oh yeah
Oh oh oh oh

All the freaks are on parade, I wanna fill my belly so I gotta get paid
Doesn't everybody deserve to have a good life
But it don't always work out, so cry cry baby if we must
But just remember, just remember I love the way you love me baby
And I love the way you move

I'm not all bad, but I'm a faithful sinner
I might get lost but I'll be home for dinner
If God don't like me he can help me to hell
But I love the way you love me girl
And I love the way you move baby

But I prayed to heaven to keep my place
'Till I looked in the mirror saw the devil's face
And I'll be a dog for a tail to chase
But I love the way you kiss me baby
I love the way you talk baby
I love the way you talk

All the freaks are on parade, I wanna fill my belly so I gotta get paid
Doesn't everybody deserve to have a good life
But it don't always work out, so cry cry baby if we must
But just remember, just remember I love the way you move

Bad days come when the good day's long
Workin' as hard as the day is long
A workin' man works but when I get home
I love the way you talk baby
I love the way you talk baby
And you move
I love the way you move

All the freaks are on parade, I wanna fill my belly so I gotta get paid
Doesn't everybody deserve to have a good life
But it don't always work out, so cry cry baby if we must
But just remember
I'll remember

All the people are on parade, thought I saw a spaceman tryin' to get laid
Doesn't everybody deserve to have a good life
But it don't always work out, cry cry baby if we must
But just remember, I'll remember
I love the way you love me girl

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

That is all for now.

-Anthony

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Soon

nobody@vox.com(Anthony) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 02:03:09 -0500

I need to blog.

And I shall, soon.

For now, sleep.

-Anthony

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2009??

nobody@vox.com(Anthony) — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 05:23:44 -0500

So, it's 5:30am on New Years Day. I'm getting tired. Gotta be at work in four hours. Oh boy. We'll see what happens, I guess. New Years post coming soon.

-Anthony

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Prop 8: The Musical

nobody@vox.com(Anthony) — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 13:59:29 -0500

Prop 8: The Musical

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It's amazing what a minute can do

nobody@vox.com(Anthony) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 02:33:26 -0500

05 So Damn Lucky

Dave Matthews Band

Listen to this song . . . especially after the four minute mark. Every time I hear this version of this song, I get chills. I was there. I saw the band 10 times in the past six months, and heard this song 8 times. And each times, it moved me nearly to tears. I updated my facebook status halfway through the first time I heard it (which was the first time it was ever played full band) . . . I made it say "Anthony is so damn lucky XD" . . . This song has always meant a lot to me. And it's always going to be a part of me.

I love this band.

I love the way this song makes me feel.

I love that music can move me the way it does.

:-)

-Anthony

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All Year Long!

nobody@vox.com(Anthony) — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 00:27:01 -0500

JANUARY
1 Who kissed you on new years?
nobody . . . Oh boy, New Year's was a strange time for me

2 Did you have a New Year's Resolution this year?
I don't usually make resolutions . . . just try to live a good life

3 Does it snow where you live?
At times, but not too often

4 Do you like hot chocolate?
I have to be in the mood for it

5 Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop?
No, I never have. I think I would, it'd be an interesting sight

FEBRUARY
1 Who was your Valentine?
Oh boy . . . Valentine's day was weird for me, too . . . Went to dinner with Melissa, Greg, and his brother, then did an overnight alone.

2 When you were little did you buy Valentine's for the whole class?
Of course!

3 Do you care if the grounddhog sees its shadow or not?
I'm always interested in if he does

4 What did you receive for valentine's day?
Nothing . . . nothing at all

MARCH
1 Are you irish?
1/4 irish, yes. Note the freckles on me

2 Do you like corn beef and cabbage?
no no no

3 What did you do for St Patrick's Day?
Oh boy, St. Patrick's day was a weird day for me . . . nah, just kidding. I worked and went to Houlihan's with Greg on our lunch break

4 Are you happy when winter is pretty much over?
I love the cold weather

APRIL
1 Do you like the rain?
I do, very much

2 Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year?
nope

3 Do you get tons of candy for Easter?
just a little bit

4 Do you celebrate 4/20?
Hehe, no. Heather and I did play pot-related music when we hung out, just making fun of someone

5 Do you love the month of April?
I did this year . . . my life started changing in April

MAY
1 What is your favorite flower?
Lillies

2 Finish the phrase "April showers…"
bring may flowers

3 Do you celebrate May 16th: National Piercing Day?
Never heard of it!

4 Is May anything special to you?
This month it was . . . :-D

JUNE
1 What year did/will you graduate from high school?
I did, in the year 2000

2 Did you do anything fun during this Month?
YES! Went to three dmb concerts, started dating Heather :-)

3 Have a favorite baseball team?
Mets!

JULY
1 What did you do on the 4th of July?
Worked on the 4th. Went over Heather's house on the 5th for a BBQ

2 Did you go to the fireworks?
not this year

3 Did you blast the A/C all day?
I did allll summer

4 Did you go on vacation?
Yes sir! Heather and I traveled to Lancaster, PA!

AUGUST
1 What was your favorite summer memory of '08?
So many . . . Going on trips with James to Pittsburgh, Camden/Philly, Scranton, Virginia Beach (with Heather), and Washington State to see 10 dmb shows. The whole start of my relationship with Heather. Going on vacation with Heather. It was a very good summer.

2 Did you have a sunburn?
nope

3 Did you go to the pool a lot?
not at all

September
1 Are you attending school?
eh, no

2 Do you like fall better than summer?
no

3 What happened this month?
Let's see . . . I saw dmb at MSG, I got promoted, I went to the zoo. It was a good month as well.

OCTOBER
1 What was your last Halloween costume?
FLAVA FLAV!!

2 What is your favorite candy?
Snickers

3 What was your favorite thing(s) about this month?
Heatherrrrrrrr

NOVEMBER
1 Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving?
Fran's

2 What are you thankful for?
Everything

3 Do you love stuffing?
i like stuffing.

4 Anything special in this month?
Many happy memories :-)

DECEMBER
1 Do you celebrate Christmas?
yea

2 Have you ever been kissed under the mistle toe?
nope

3 Get anything special last year?
Not really

4 What do you want this year?
Eh, i don't have a list

5 What do you love most about December?
CHRISTMASTIME!

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It has arrived . . .

nobody@vox.com(Anthony) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 01:24:17 -0500

Today is an historic day. This will be the third presidential election that I'm able to vote in This is only the second time that I've been completely and utterly enamored by a candidate for any office. I've gotten behind other candidates before. But only Bill Bradley's campaign in the 2000 Democratic primaries affected me enough to get me involved.

That was before Barack Obama. I know that many people (probably about half the country) will disagree with what I say, but I'm gonna go ahead and say it anyway. I believe in him more than I've ever believed in a candidate before. I've been waiting with anticipation for this moment for a long time. I knew four years and three months ago that he was something special, after watching his keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention. And 21 months ago, he announced his candidacy, I knew. It was obvious back in 2004 that he was the future of the party. He has the ability to inspire, but also the plans and proposals to back himself up.

My endorsement of Barack Obama aside, this blog entry is about more than that. It's about where we are as a nation. I have my bachelors degree in history . . . it often leads me to think about things in a different way than many. This is the stuff we're gonna be talking to our kids about in ten, fifteen years. This is the stuff I'll be teaching about thirty years from now. We're feeling the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression. We're not in a new Great Depression of course, Unemployment was nearly 20%, and we're not even close to that number right now. But the fact is, we're feeling the worst we've been feelign in a long time.

George Bush's approval ratiings are at 21%. For a sitting president to only have 1 in 5 American's approve of his job performance is shameful. He wanted to build a legacy, he wanted to be bigger and better than his dad. History is not going to look kindly on the 43rd president, who presided over the worst attack on American soil in history as well as leaving the next president with two wars, an economy in ruin, and the credibility of the nation internationally at an all-time low.

Then again, this is what happens. This is why the Democrats have a chance at having a HUGE majority in the House and Senate as well as perhaps, maybe having their party in the White House again. People tend to blame the party in power for the bad stuff . . . and this time it is fitting.

I've never seen such an inspired electorate. There is an electricity in the air when people start discussing this election. 188 million people registered to vote . . . that's a record number. Turnout today may be record-setting as well. People have waited in line for 8 hours or more just waiting to cast their vote. Everyone wants their say in the future of the country.

This is a once-in-a-generation moment, though. I've only been alive for seven presidential elections, two of which (1984 and 1988), I'm too young to remember. 1992 was important, 2000 was historic for it's own reasons, but I've not lived through anything like this election. I've only read about John F. Kennedy, but I feel like I can equate 1960 to the 2008 election. Things were starting to change in the country, and he was the leader who inspiried the youth and tried to unite the nation. Sound familiar?

The election is in our hands now, of course. A little primer for those who don't know how the process works.

Each state votes a candidate, but they're actually voting for electors. State by state, whichever candidate wins the popular vote of that state wins the all of the electors of the state (except for Maine and Nebraska, which give two two the state winner and then the others go to the voting district winner). These electors pledge to vote for the candidate when the Electoral College meets. They always do, since they are chosen by the party. So if Obama wins a state, his electors go to the college, where if McCain wins, his do.

So, each state gets an elector for each seat in Congress (Senators plus representatives) Therefore, larger states have more say than smaller states. There are 538 electors (435 representatives, 100 senators, 3 for Washington DC). In order to win the election, one candiate must win the majorty of these votes, 270. So, it's tough, but a canidate can win the national vote, but lose the election, as Al Gore did in 2000.

So each hour from 7pm on, more states will close their polling. And we'll start to color in our maps, Red and Blue. And in the end, one candidate will have 270 or more votes. And that person will be the President Elect for 56 days until he is inaugurated as the 44th president of the United States of America.

So go out and vote. Even if you disagree with my politics, believe in your right to vote. It's your voice. It's what makes this country so great.

:-)

-Anthony

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autumn is coming :)

nobody@vox.com(Anthony) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 21:08:33 -0400

(2008-07-29) WaterWine

Dave Matthews Band

I will bring you water
If you will bring me wine
We will dance together
Til the end of time . . .

     I'm gonna warn you all, this is gonna be a mushy post. :-)

   Heather and I recently celebrated our three month anniversary. I know, doesn't seem like that big a deal, but when you went through what we went through just to start a relationship, even the little milestones are sweet. Things are going great with us. I know lots of people say this, but I have a really good feeling about our relationship. It's always scary to put yourself out there, but I really don't even feel any fear about it.

    There are little moments that stick in my mind about the last three months. Sitting on the grass watching the fireworks at Hersheypark. Holding her hand at the dmb concert in Virginia Beach while the song above (Water Into Wine) played. Walking around Flushing Meadows Corona Park, talking about the 1964 World's Fair.

     There were plenty of moments like that before we started dating, too. That's the thing . . . she's still my best friend, and has been since early this year. I think that's why things are so solid with us. We spent most of our time together since March, three months before we decided to start dating.

     I'm excited about things I've NEVER been excited about before. I'm excited for autumn. For most of my life, I've hated the entire season. I've always had this strange, negative, depressing feeling when the weather starts to change and the leaves start to die. When I think about it now, however, it's with excitement. I have hope. I think that's what it is. I have hope now. I'm SO excited about Christmastime with Heather. It's about the time we became friends last year, but it's gonna be a lot different now :-)

     We're three days away from the autumnal equinox. As I look back on the summer, it's hard to find anything negative. Starting May 30, really, it's been amazing. I traveled with one of my best friends, James, to Pittsburgh, Camden/Philadelphia (with Erin and Steph, too), Scranton, Virginia Beach (with Heather, too!!), and Washington State to see the Dave Matthews Band. And then we topped it off with a show at Madison Square Garden. Ten shows in all for me. Over 3,300 miles of driving (or 500 miles farther than if I'd driven straight to Seattle).

     I finally started enjoying my job, and even got a promotion, amazingly. I feel good about my life and the future.

     Yeah, things are good :-)

-Anthony

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Lonely

nobody@vox.com(Anthony) — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 06:14:07 -0400

I'm sitting at a diner in spokane at 3am eating all alone. Never thought I'd write those words. :-/

-anthony
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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